I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Mom said you looked used
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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