I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
