Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
