I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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