The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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