Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
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his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
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Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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