dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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