i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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