i just google imaged poop.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Randomize
