did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
