My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
