Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Randomize
