I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
