I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize