his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
