who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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