If i come over, it means nothing
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
