Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
