okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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