He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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