nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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