I want to have your abortion
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
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There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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