Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Boobs are out for the taking
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
