Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
