maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
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