Me. At least after what I've been through.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
