She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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