Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
