Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Drunk is a universal language darling
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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