Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
