Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize