guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
