I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
