there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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