dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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