How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
