what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
