You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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