there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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