i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
