Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
