I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Holy sore nipples Batman
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
