Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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