so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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