So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
