Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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