last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
