Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Randomize
