I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
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