You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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