She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
zippers are such a cool invention
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize