thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
