Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
