I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
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