a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i was born a porn star she said
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
