Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
