you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
