Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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