i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
