I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
i think i just lost a toe
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
