and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
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I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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