Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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