If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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