I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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