WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
bring money and cleavage
No subtext here. People are naked.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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